Like mother like daughter.

I know the adage and I see it acted out most days with my teen. She does not look like me at all and we certainly have our differences but we both "over commit".

I always hear that women who over commit do not know how to say "no" or how to decline requests for help. That has never been my problem. I am not easily intimidated or even very sensitive. But I am very curious.

Whenever someone approaches me with a new project or activity, I am always prone to say "yes" just to learn more about something new. I am a generalist and can get excited about fine art, international development or feral cats at the drop of a hat. Maybe it is "adult onset ADHD", I do not know. But I have always been like that and regularly burn myself out because of my inclination to follow every opportunity.

My daughter has the same inclination. And added to that, she is a perfectionist.  Problem!

She juggles school work at a top-notch level, ballet, extracurriculars and a couple of jobs regularly. Add to that the periodic dog-walking or babysitting and eventually it explodes. And she explodes with it.

I am probably the only one who sees the meltdown, but I always know it is coming. I can predict it months in advance. I always ask if she has time to take on something new when she announces a new endeavor. And the answer is always, "yes" with a lucid explanation of how she will manage.

And I still know it will blow up!

Next year she goes to college so she will be tempted to pursue everything. No one will be there to ask if she can manage. So this year we have been tussling over not following every opportunity.

She is too old for me to say "no, you cannot." But I can question whether she can take something on, and provide advice on the exit strategy when it becomes too much.

I cannot do more because I have not figured that out myself!