Valentine's Day: A Reminder of Broken Hearts

On a day like Valentine's Day, emotions run extremely high, whether you're lucky in love or you've lost your love. Georgetown-based attorney Susan S. Liberman has been practicing law for 25 years, specializing in family issues, wills, and divorces and says she has become "very good" at holding her broken hearted clients' hands.

"Divorce happens because people just don't enjoy each other anymore," Liberman said. "If you stop having fun, it's a chore."

Valentine's Day can serve as a cruel reminder of what people have lost in their lives. People are reminded of their broken marriages, broken homes and broken hearts during this time of year. The problems stem from an endless number of sources, ranging from marrying too young, to financial problems, to just moving in different directions.

Daniel Dannenbaum, family law lawyer in Arlington, said that one of most difficult things for him to witness is the negative effect on the children who are forced into choosing sides in their parents' issues.

"In my field, you see so much heartbreak," Dannenbaum said. "It gives you a desire for your own marriage to survive. Give gifts, show appreciation and acknowledge each other."

The answer to an empty heart on Valentine's Day is to remain positive, said Dr. Marsha Lucas, Dupont Circle-based psychologist and author of "Rewire Your Brain For Love."

"Instead of casting blame on past relationships, people need to focus on how to make the next one successful," Lucas said. "The way we do relationships, whether we are avoidant or not, happens during attachment as babies. It's wired deep in the brain."

Lucas said we should try to listen to other people. She advises everyone to be considerate. Don't offer an ultimatum by saying "It's my way or the highway" and don't put all your energy into pleasing your significant other. It's all about balance.

"The most difficult part of my job is when people come in and because of their history, they say they want advice or a script on what to say to their spouse," Lucas said. "They want to change, but don't want to put work into it."

Lucas focuses on a method called "Mindfulness Meditation." This method of therapy focuses on what's going on in a patient's head and changes the neural pathways. "Better neural pathways create better relationships," Lucas said. "People who practice mindfulness meditation have more connections which allow you to be more aware of what is going on in your body and your life."