Health & Fitness
When Tradition Turns Into Obligation
It's a fine line between tradition and obligation. When can we just say f*ck it?
When does tradition turn into obligation? How many people truly want to go home for the holidays?
It becomes complicated as families grow bigger, and live farther apart. In-laws, now grandparents, can become competitive – each wanting to host, each wanting to create those wonderful holiday memories.
But sometimes, those intentions are lost in stubborn visions of the “ideal” holiday.
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What’s all the fuss about turkey and stuffing anyway?
Some families just work well together. They have fun preparing a meal, and know how to share responsibilities. They express themselves and communicate throughout the year (or have a really good therapist) so that nobody has an inappropriate outburst over where to put the sweet potatoes when the real issue is that they are holding a life-long grudge against Aunt So-and-so.
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Most families don’t really operate like this. If being together for a holiday creates logistical or emotional stress, it might be time to make a change. If you can’t all be together without causing a rift with the other side of the family, then pick another day to spend with family each year. Have Thanksgiving in August, Breakfast for Dinner, Pajama day – whatever it takes to start a happy stress free tradition.
A few years ago, my husband and I went on vacation over the Thanksgiving holiday. We spent Thanksgiving with friends who live locally, then hopped on a plane the next morning for Montreal. It was absolutely fantastic.
As our son gets older, I would like to do these things with him – travel, start new traditions. The challenge will be to do it guilt free.
