How to Cope When Your Pet Seems to Hate Your S.O.

Pets can have a profound impact on personal relationships--and those relationships can, in turn, have a profound effect on your pets. What should you do if you bring a boyfriend or girlfriend home and your pet reacts badly?

Fortunately, plenty of experts have already weighed in on this subject!

The Jealous Dog

In Modern Dog Magazine animal behaviorist Colleen Paige suggested that a dog's bad reaction to an S.O. in the home is simple jealousy in action. The solution? Use the dog's pack instinct to your advantage.

According to Paige you shouldn't encourage your boyfriend or girlfriend to start petting the dog right away. Instead, she suggests having the boyfriend or girlfriend treat the dog as a member of the pack by actively offering affection, treats, or time at the dog park. Love and understanding are the keys to making this work.

You can also let your S.O. take over the job of feeding the dog...there's no better way to a pup's heart than through his stomach!

The Territorial Cat

When the cat hates the new S.O. it's generally not about jealousy. Instead, it's about territory. Pam Johnson-Bennet of Cat Behavior Associates offers several insights.

First, don't push your cat too hard by trying to hand him or her off to your S.O. right off the bat. Cats like to be invited to sit with someone or to take scritches and pets, but they don't like to be forced.

Instead, you can focus on making your S.O. scent-friendly to the cat. Johnson-Bennett suggests gently rubbing clean socks over your kitty's mouth to scent mark it. You can then let your S.O. wear the socks (don't worry, there won't be any odor that humans can detect). You can also take one sock and rub it gently over your spouse's belongings. This will help the cat accept your S.O. as a part of his or her territory rather than as an invasion into it.

You can also let your S.O. take over the job of feeding the cat, just as you can for dogs.

Don't get rid of either one of them!

Some people respond to the tension between S.O.s and pets by either rehoming their pets or breaking up with the significant other. This isn't necessary! A lack of affection from your pet does not, in spite of urban legends, expose a personal defect on the part of your spouse. And if you work with your pet's instincts life will soon get easier for everyone in the house. Soon, even your pet won't be able to imagine life without your spouse!